/ time off

I've Been Laying Low

It's been 3 days since I posted, which is not normal for me. I've been super busy with work and personal projects, not counting home life but I figured I'd jump on and write a little something.

Lately I've been seriously doubting my skillset. Let me give you an example. It took me a month or two to really get comfortable with Chef (provisioning/configuration management DevOps tool). My teammate who is immensely talented, figured it out in less than 2 weeks and has taken over one of my projects that I've not had the proper time to devote. While a good leader empowers and delegates with the goal in mind to grow the teammate, still there's a sense of "what the fuck am I doing wrong?". Perhaps I don't learn as fast, or maybe I'm not as talented as everyone claims me to be. Either way, this is not a competition and I'm absolutely thrilled that my teammate learned so quickly without little guidance, but still it makes me question things.

I've all but left YouTube as I mentioned in a previous post. I've decided that I sort of want to keep myself off the Internet as much as possible. So I think I'm going to delete my channel and in addition delete my Instagram account as it's brought nothing but a total waste of time into my life when I could be learning, growing, and getting shit done.

I also had a deep talk with my teammate, Jason regarding privacy, security, and being on the Internet. We both discussed how Apple and Microsoft products end up having a constant connectivity to the "mother ship" and that Google and Apple knows where you are at all times. It took me a while to realize the outcome of this. It's like a big brother/1984 scenario, let me tell you. It's to the point where I almost don't even want to use my phone. If you've followed the the work of Richard Stallman you'll know that phones can be used a listening devices even when they are off as well when you turn the phone off the GPS chip still transmits, which scares the living shit out of me.

I've realized that I have a really bad opsec practice and while I have nothing to hide, I'd like to just hide behind a pseudonym for a while and not having anything to do with my real life being publicized on the Internet.

In other news, the last week has been fairly productive with training my team and working on projects. I'm working on a Status page application similar to statusy.co to use at work which was a nice break from the routine tasks as a director. I'm also working on a few of my personal/side projects this weekend to keep me busy.

Other than that, I'm planning to just sort of go full introvert this weekend, keep communication with people to a minimum, and just crank out work and learn new stuff.

I've also noticed that I've been less and less engaged with LinkedIn. Not that it's a bad outlet, but it's quickly turning into another Facebook, which really disappoints me. I'm tempted to delete my account but at 12k connections and lots of good people that I know and trust, it's really hard to let go. Plus if I ever need a job in the future, LinkedIn is the way to go it seems, at least I've had a ton of traction on it.

Anyways, I think that's about it. I'm going to spend the weekend chilling out, thinking, and planning my next move. All the while trying to fly under the radar and just do my thing.

I hope you all are all well, and I'll be back possibly tomorrow. Maybe with some technical content. :-)